December 11, 2009 (2:40am)

Something remarkable and joyous has occurred. It's 2:00 am and I’ve been asleep for 4 hours straight. Almost purged, having become a new and purer vessel.

Since I was a little boy I have loved Christmas. As I sit here in my crying chair weeping tears if inexpressible joy beside the tree I realize I have been given the special privilege, for this moment, to carry the blessed message of God's great love to the world. However distant these messages have been flung, they have carried on their wings the undying song of Jesus came so long ago, God became man, because His burning heart would not tolerate being apart from me. I needed to be rescued and He would not be stopped until He had me.

I am alive fully in His strong arms after walking the earth for 54 years. He has pursued me, wooed me and captured my heart. I am His and He is mine, forever.

For a brief moment in time I have had the joy of being like Mary, carrying in the deepest part of who I am, the beauty of Jesus to the world. His message is such a privilege to deliver.

I have been given the greatest joy in the last 2 weeks to carry Jesus inside me to deliver Him anew to a new generation of His beloved.

"Behold the bond slave of the Lord; be it done to me according to your Word."...My soul exalts the Lord. And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. For He has had regard the humble state of His bond slave....For the Mighty One has done great things for me; and holy is His name. And His mercy is upon generation after generation toward those who fear Him." Luke 1:38, 46-50

I will never be the same man because of this severe mercy. Whatever the future holds I could never return to the former way of life. I will run with all that is within me to continue to sing the song of Heaven to those who will listen. I'll do it as He gives me days and moments in simplicity wherever He takes me. I'll fall deeper in love with Him every moment and let His love overflow into those in parking lots and marketplaces wherever He leads. Lead on Majestic One, your servant has finally listened.

I love you,

Tim