December 12, 2009 (2:00am)

It's 2:00 am as I sit beside the Christmas tree and fire in what became my crying chair. The chair seems to now to have in one day become more of the rejoicing chair.

After yesterday, experiences of heavens explosions, first in the Christmas Revelation of being one messenger of this white hot love of the Father followed by a day of release into my small corner of the world allowed me a window into amazing possibility.

I am still just trying to walk one step at a time my ear to God’s beautiful beating heart and my eye on the thirsty people he allows me the privilege of extending his cup of love.

I walk slower these days. That seems to be one of the incredibly good blessings that has come from this time and will be continuing as part of how to hear and sustain this free flowing exchange from Him to me. It has allowed both the opportunity to hear His voice and to truly see the dear ones who stand before me in everyday life like sponges, thirsty yet having no idea as to where or who can quench the thirst they feel so intensely in their life.

The slower I am, it appears, the more effective I have become. Yesterday (Friday) was an amazing day to walk in the idea of "Lead On, Majestic One". First having been healed, I have with a continual smile on my lips. Yesterday I saw how powerful this small device of heaven’s arsenal can operate, as it seems to open the door to speak into a weary and hurting heart to deliver the message of God's marvelous healing balm.

It started with my beautiful wife Janice. This time of apparent affliction to the world has proven itself the most life giving experience I have ever had. Our intimacy as husband and wife has gone from great to exponentially grand. In virtually every way I have become more the man she has always needed. I smile at her as she glides across the room getting my medicine countless other ways of serving me, I smile and affirm her beauty and strength and how much I love her, she comes alive.

My family has been irrevocably changed by this experience. My wonderful gentle, strong daughters have been awakened as I have in the beauty of the smile and affirming afterglow of this experience. Amy came yesterday at my invitation just to lay in my arms by the fire. As she lay there in my arms looking at a new family portrait hanging above the mantle she saw and observed such rich meanings captured on film, transferred to canvas. Clearly God's thoughts brought to her mind communicated to me in that beautiful father/daughter moment on the sofa; strength emerging. This Sunday, we will spend rejoicing with each other before next weeks unknown, yet known, experience following surgery will be spent together eating from the Fathers table with each other and strolling through the Botanic Gardens arm in arm, 3 generations of strength armed with the beauty and smiles a man fully healed. Lead on King Jesus!

As these thoughts have flowed this morning, I have sensed a transition from one phase to another although it's difficult to know where exactly I am in the process. It's not particularly important that I know because I know that the Great Captain of my soul and destiny knows. He steers my course with a strong hand on my course and my role is simply to respond to his touch and skillful guidance.

The stories from walking according to this way slowly, listening to heaven, smiling and looking into the eyes of the weary are to numerous to mention as my eyes begin to blur at the page, my sight has never been clearer. I will only mention their names as they flash across my recent memory. Joe who welcomed me so graciously opened my door at Zale Lip shy and to his eyes of appreciation as I genially took the time thank him for what I saw in his humble act of service towards me; each nurse that attended me from filling out forms to drawing blood from my veins, each with a name and face deeply loved by the Father. There was Daphnia and Beth, beautiful sponges soaking up the words of appreciation and affirmation offered by a son of heaven towards them.
Mandy who stopped and entered into the moment as I prayed over the phone with a friend in the middle of filling out paperwork, heaven strength on display Joseph, one of my attending surgeons whose middle name is Emanuel, "God With Us" having his skill gratefully acknowledged as a servant of God in this moment where his beautiful life intersects mine.

I have come to see myself and anyone who will follow these thoughts as merely wheelbarrows of Heaven. Fill me up My King with your love and then I will pour it out where you show me.

Incredible and freeing simplicity.

Lead On King Jesus!

Your brother and friend,

Tim